Steps to Saying Goodbye

Now, I’m aware that I haven’t really posted on this all semester. I’m trying to retrospectively remedy that. But here’s this:
  1. Denial. Pretend you don’t have to leave. Talk like Ke$ha. Quote Ke$ha. Be Ke$ha for Halloween. Pretend that you haven’t already booked your one-way ticket back to California. Listen to “Die Young” and “C’mon”. Make plans upon plans upon plans. Live your life. Love your life. Watch the sunrise on your friends’ rooftop in Bushwick. Stay up all night and go to that one diner off of Lorimer stop. Get a coffee and a bagel. Pretend that you’ll actually be getting off at Lorimer stop again in the next several months. Make new friends two weeks before you leave and don’t notice how dumb this probably is.
  2. Acceptance. Listen to “The Trapeze Swinger” by Iron & Wine. Do this on repeat. Take a trip to Providence, Rhode Island. On your way back, realize that you actually only have thirteen more days. That this is true and that there is no way to avoid it. Vow to love. To love your newly-acquired friends. To love, and I mean love, this damn city. To cherish every subway ride and every time that you realize how much it really does smell like piss. Love Times Square. Love all the touristy things. Love the tourists. Accept that you really don’t know when you’ll be back. Accept that you’ve probably been a tourist with a New York address. Finish strong. Make quality work and do your best in class. Go to the Guggenheim, go to Van Cortland Park. Go everywhere that you’ve been saying you’d go next week. Realize that you only have one more next week. Be truly unafraid and unashamed to say “I love New York.” Buy an I Love New York t-shirt. Don’t tell a soul. 
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How to Fall in Love with a City in One Week or Less:

  1. Spend way too much time outside of your apartment. Avoid going home. Pack three pair of shoes, a pair of pants, and a sweater in your Longchamp tote so you won’t have to go home. Eat all of your meals out, or avoid eating if you’re cheap. Coffee is a meal, right? Yes.
  2. Find your spots. Fall in love with your special nook in Central Park. Spend warm days lying in the Sheep Meadow with your favorite New Yorkers. Do this while playing all of your favorite Goo Goo Dolls, Third-Eye Blind, and Death Cab songs on a guitar brought from home. Soak in the rays of one another. Declare the West Village as your favorite neighborhood. One day later, decide that your favorite neighborhood is Chelsea. That you were meant to live in Chelsea. Do this with every new neighborhood until you find a real favorite. 
  3. Pretend that you understand the subway system. Be thrilled when you get from the Upper West Side to Long Island City without having to look at your map. But don’t show your excitement. If you absolutely must, look at your New York CIty Subway Map app in secret. And never, ever ask someone for directions. You’re a New Yorker, remember? Tip for double points: be thrilled (but not too thrilled) when a tourist asks you for directions. Roll your eyes, lower your big sunglasses, and give them directions, exasperatedly. If you don’t know the answer, lie. But never, ever let people know that you’ve only been here for one week. You own this city. 
  4. Love your friends. Realize that, out of the 8 million people on this island, you know the coolest ones. 
  5. Go out to dinner at 11PM. Even though you just ate dinner four hours ago. Realize that you’re not hungry, but order dessert from your Columbian waiter at your classy Greenwich Village restaurant. Feel like the classiest ever. Hint: do this with a great old friend, and it will be even better. 
  6. Look at NYC apartments on Craigslist. Decide that you’re moving here for good. 
  7. Meet someone. Pretend that you are going to fall in love. Spend too much time together for three days. Forget about classwork, school, your friends, your internship. Eventually, realize that you’re really just friends and that kissing is awkward anyway. Decide that your “career” is too demanding for this. 
  8. Become happy with the anonymity, privacy, and loneliness that comes with living in New York. Know that you are becoming a better person. Know that this is what keeps the city’s heart beating. That this is what keeps you creative. That this is what you’ve dreamed of. This is New York, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
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The BIg Apple Calls

Well, friends, this is it.

I think the craziest part is that this is actually happening. I am going to New York. I am going to New York to make art. To make, look at, and read about art. My zip code will be 10001 in New York, NY. Crazy.

Currently, I sit in the sixteenth gate at Sacramento Airport. Since I’m reaaaaaaaaally cheap, though, this is not as exciting as a plane straight to New York. This is a plane to Orange County. Then, I will get on a plane to Denver and then from Denver, a plane to La Guardia International Airport in New York, NY. This is a 12.5 hour traveling day. Excellent. 

I don’t know if I’m exactly ready. I know that I was not ready last night, when I was attempting to shove my entire wardrobe into two fifty-pounds-or-less bags. (Sidenote/advice: when the say fifty pounds, they mean fifty pounds. You never want to be the guy shoving 2.5 pounds of socks and underwear into your trendy carry-on tote. Hint: I was just that guy.)

However, I have taken measures to ensure that I will be ready. Thanks to one of my best friends back at PLNU, Jene (Hiiiiiii, Jeneeee), I have been listening to “Ian’s Big Apple Mix,” a mix CD specifically tailored to my journey. One of the songs on repeat has been Glee’s version of Empire State of Mind. Listen and feel my excitement. 

I’ve also sufficiently readied myself using other tools. Some of my most recent searches have been “Hipsters guide to NYC,” “what to wear in a NY summer,” and “cheap broadway tickets.” I’ve also watched the best of the best movies set in New York, like Funny Girl, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, The Devil Wears Prada (the most glamourous one) and Julie & Julia. I’ve also gone on a Google-Maps virtual tour of the entire city. Friends, I am ready. Beyond ready.

Now I must take off though, so I will see you on the other side. One big “bon voyage” to myself for now, and I will update you soon!


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